In Light. In Thanks.

If you are in New York City, you will know what I mean… If not, this may be a confusing post.

But in light of recent events and the current political scene, you know there is some (to be polite) sadness, fear, anger, frustration, confusion, and wonder where we- as a people and a country- will be headed come the new year.

Let’s talk about the proverbial elephant in the proverbial room… the 2016 Presidential Election results.  I don’t (I mean I personally do), but as a blogger I’ll try not to offer advice or opinion… I have to understand we all have the ability to make our own decichiosns and did so for reasons we see fit and right.

However, I will say that New York City was LITERALLY and FIGURATIVELY in a rain cloud grey day after the election results rolled in very early Wednesday morning the other week.  There were tears at office desks, heartfelt “thank yous” to Starbucks baristas, and moments of eye contact and genuine care on train cars.  A city of driven, serious, stressed, “cold hearted” people all came together in unspoken confusion, worry, and supported each other this week.

It’s become clear to me we all moved to this magical place for a reason.  To surround ourselves with similar, understanding people… be us women seeking other strong women… members of the LGTBQ community seeking support and acceptance… artists seeking creative outlets… Likeminded people flocking together to New York City… the “melting pot” city… the City of Dreams.

I’ve been reflection a lot on my move here.  I was alone (contrary to what many believe, I did NOT move up here to follow my man), I was lost, and I was looking for something different then I had before.  I was free to go where I wanted and reinvent myself if I chose.  I came here with no more then I could carry of the plane and now I find myself an active member of my community, a member of a team, and a part of an extensive network of friends and relations.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about where I was about this 10 years ago… sitting in a movie theater watching Happy Feet (tap dancing penguins… can you see it now) and avoiding eye contact from the man I eventually moved in with and would have given my life to.  We traveled, we moved in together, we made decisions based on each other… and ultimately we did not last.  Do I meant to be dark and depressing?  No. Do I mean to use this as a chance to reflect, to make amends (although only through words that may actually never reach the ears they are meant for)?  Yes.  I mean to say that in light of all the events that have shaken my city and tested friendships, I am thankful for all that I have experienced.  For all of the people I have met, loved, hated, worked with, cared for, or ultimately decided were/were not the right fit for my life.

November is often sold as a month to be thankful for friends, family, warmth, health, and love. Businesses market it as a time to spend a little more, to give back.  Family use it as a time to see you.

I have to say I  am thankful for all the life experiences I’ve had- the good, the bad, and the ugly- as I would not be the “jet setting  marathoner with a stable job” that I am today without them.  I would not have moved to New York, said “I love you” to someone special, turned down job offers, accepted job offers, or started running without every experience and person that has made me… me.

To the City of New York right now, we need to pick ourselves up and brush ourselves off.  Unite and band together rather then get angry or hide away (although it’s ok sometimes i guess).

To him, I’m no longer mad, confused, upset, angry, or still in love.  I’ve forgiven myself.  I’ve forgiven him.  And I’ve moved beyond it… because being angry forever will not help anyone.

All in all to sum up this raw, potentially controversial post… we ALL need to take a moment and shine a light on what we have.  What we have accomplished and how strong we are together and alone.  There is still good in people and we can tap that.  There is still love in me and I can fine that.

Always,

C

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